Wanting What You Can't Have
by gormetgormand
Summary: When Tomoyo's mother returns from a long business trip, she doesn't bring back a souvenier but a new young fiance. Initially concerned about her mother marrying someone so young Tomoyo tries to get to know him, but ends u falling in love instead.KuroxTomo
1. A Surprise

With a graceful sweep down the stairs, nineteen year old Tomoyo Daidoji proceded to walk through the foyer, then the dining hall and finially into the kitchen where she began to prepare her breakfast. She was up before the sun, anticipation shining through her calm facade as she mentally ran through a checklist of ingredients for her breakfast. The grandiose house she lived in itself seemed to buzz with more energy than usual, there seemed to be a gentle hum eminating from it's vast halls expanding all through the threshold. Today was special, not only because Tomoyo's mother was coming home from a very long business trip, but because word was that she was bringing someone with her.

"Ouch!"

she felt the angry sting of the raw wound before she saw the small stream of red that appeared from her finger. "_Hmm it may not be wise to think and chop fruit at the same time_" she thought as she ran her finger under water and applied a bandaid. She scanned over the kitchen until she saw the oven clock- 6:53, her mother would be arriving in precisely two hours and seven minutes. Until then she would need something to distract herself so time would go by faster. Ruminating over her options she decided on making her mother a welcome-home present. She asked the gardner to clip a fresh boquet of nadeshikos while she wandered to the computer studio. Turning on her computer she saw the cute face of her best friend, giving her an idea. She began opening different media folders and started sorting through the videos she had taken as a child. Giggling at the memories she started to compile them onto on DVD. She would have to make a couple of these to give to Sakura, Syaoran, her mother and Touya (Sakura permitting). She watched the mini version of herself and Sakura playing in the ocean with Syaoran back on the sand with a protective eye always on Sakura. Tomoyo began to day dream over the past, a wistful grin decorating her face. Looking back at the video she saw that it had skipped to a few years later and she watched their small round faces smile in delight as they sat beneath a cherry tree relishing in the spring time air and each others company.

"Hohoho oh to be small again- that would be something"

she thought as she grabbed the DVD out of it's tray and placed it into a small decorative box. Noticing the clock she jumped up immediatley and strided to the entrance hall where a gathering of servants were rushing to finish last minute tasks and chores. A minute later she saw a long black limonsine pull up to the Daidoji estate, everyone held their breath as they waited to see who or whom would get out of the car. Out first came Sonomi Daidoji who seemed tired from the long trip back from New York. And then- to everyone's shock appeared a young man who appeared to be in his early to mid twenties. He carefully slid out of the car with his hand clasped onto Sonomi's. The collected group gasped as they saw the couple approach the door.

"Welcome home Mama!"

Tomoyo ran to hug her mother who let go her occupied hand to wrap her arms around Tomoyo.

"Hm it's so good to see you dear, it's comforting to have you in my arms again. You will have to tell me all you have done while I've been away but first let me introduce someone to you."

Tomoyo let go of her mother to study the person she brought with her into the house. He was taller than he seemed outside with a thick head of black hair tidy in it's uniform un-neatness. His eyes burned with a quiet intensity like the embers of an old fire. All in all he looked very intimidating and Tomoyo wasn't sure that she liked him standing so close to her mother.

"Tomoyo my love I would like you to meet Kurogane, my fiance."


	2. MotherDaughter Bonding

Disclaimer: I don't own CLAMP or any of their angsty beautiful characters

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"I'm sorry I misheard, your **what**?" Tomoyo said startled by what she thought she just heard.

"Oh my don't make me say it again! (Her mother said with a blush) I said that he is going to be your stepfather!"

"Oh...well you know what that means mother, you're a cougar!"  
Tomoyo tried to make a joke while on the inside she was enraged at this young man who seemed to be taking advantage of her mother. Most likely some sort of gigilo who was only after her money. She would have to talk to her mother privately and warn her that marrying this "Kurogane" would be the biggest mistake of her life!

"Hmm" her mother said with a confused smile "I'm afriad I don't understand what that means but I'll take it as a compliment!"

"Well that's ok Mama I can tell you all about it when we catch up, why don't we go to the theatre, I have a present to give to you."

Turning her head to Kurogane and grabbing her mother's hand Tomoyo gave a slight bow and said "Excuse me but I would like to spend some time with my mother alone. You are welcome to tour the estate and get comfortable here. Let one of the staff know if you need anything, they'll be happy to help you."

Kuroganes stoic face gave a half-hearted nod but Tomoyo could see a slight aura of frustration glowing from his eyes. She felt goosebumps down her back and quickly turned around and briskly started walking to her destination.

"Tomoyo not so fast, not everyone has the legs of a ballerina you know!"Her mother called after her.

Tomoyo didn't speak until they arrived at the theatre, thoughts of how to tactfully approach the subject of her moms new love clouded her mind. She decided that the smartest way to bring it up would be afer she put her mother into a good mood.

"Mama please sit down in the seat over there, I promise it's comfy! Oh and close your eyes too because you wouldn't want to spoil the surprise."

She recieved an incredulous look from her mother who then promptly shut her lids and scrunched her face in concentration, relying only on sound to try to make sense of what was going on around her. Walking up to the control room Tomoyo pressed play on the DVD machine and walked back to where her mother was seated waiting for "operation good mood" to take effect.

"Sakura-chan!" Her mother squeeled in delight as she saw an uncomfortable looking Sakura dressed up in one of Tomoyo's many creations. Along with Syaoran they were sitting in the playroom of the Daidoji estate surrounded by stuffed animals and drinking tea. "Tomoyo where did you find this? It's aboslutely ancient!"

With a grin Tomoyo teased "Well actually while you were gone all of the Kinomotos came over and we had a showing of all the old home videos! Sigh it was really quite a shame that you had to miss it"

Looking at her mothers horrified face,Tomoyo couldn't keep it in any longer and burst into a fit of giggles. After a slight reprimand from her mother they returned to watching the welcome home present. When it was finished Tomoyo was certain that Sonomi was satiated with the dose of cutness that had permeated the screen, especially after all the "oohs" and "ahhs"that came from her mothers mouth. Staring at the blank screen of the TV Tomoyo ruminated over how to delicately voice her concerns without upsetting to sound casual she asked "So please tell me about Kurogane."

"Oh well what do you want to know? He's twenty-five, from Kyoto and I met him in a bookstore in New York"

"And now he just happens to be your fiance?"

"Oh please let me finish, well the day I was in the bookstore the cashiers were pretty busy and accidently gave us each others book. I didn't realize it though until I was already back in my hotel room. Luckily I had been skimming my book earlier and had put my business card in there as a page keeper. He called me the next day and set up a time where we could exchange our books. I thought that was the last of him until I went to a business meeting the next day and sat down next to my new client only to realize that it was the owner of "Ninjas: Past and Present"!"

At this Tomoyo was laughing on the inside, Ninjas: Past and Present? Was he really six on the inside? She would have to find some way to tease him about this. But she quickly remembered her task and became serious again.

"But Mama he is so young, why would you want to be marrying someone close to my age?"

"Well sweetie, he's almost like you, he doesn't act his age. He is responsible, mature and an accomplished business man."

"Mom I'm just worried that he's tricking you. Many people would love to take advantage of our situation."

"Tomoyo you may think that but it is not your decision who I marry. You are being prejudice by basing your opinions of him on looks alone. Why don't you try to get to know him; tomorrow I would like you two to go to the CLAMP atelier and you can help him pick out his tuxedo for the wedding. I'm killing two birds with one stone, it'll help you two meet and with your help he'll look splendid on our wedding day!"

Tomoyo looked down and mumbled a "yes", she knew she wasn't going to win this argument and decided to raise the white flag. She would have to go and find specific evidence on why it wouldn't be practical for Sonomi to marry Kurogane. Until then she would have to be indifferent of her opinion of him.

"Good girl, well I think we may have let him wander around for long enough, how about we finish catching up later?"

Tomoyo slowly wandered to the garden with her school work. When she was upset the large Sakura tree in the backyard always was a comfort to lay under it ever since she was little. She thought about the cold look that Kurogane gave her, something that she wasn't used to and it made her blood freeze. She decided to be on her best behavior tomorrow, to respect her mothers wishes, but anything suspicious would be immediatly reported to Sonomi as evidence for her cause. With her collective thoughts slowly buzzing around in her head, she gradually drifted off to sleep. She was almost there until her 6th sense picked up and made her feel as if she were being watched. Immediately she sat up and looked around, seeing nothing but feeling a gentle breeze she decided to lie down again and see if the creep watching her would show itself again. About ten minutes later she saw a shadow slinking along a long line of bushes.

"Excuse me but I don't think you could be more obvious."

Kurogane stopped in his tracks and muttered a quick "Damn it" then turned around to look at the sitting Tomoyo who seemed to be in a good mood with the smile on her face, but the look in her eyes made him feel he was in danger.

"And may I ask why your creeping around the garden? I didn't think that would be one of your hobbies"

Tomoyo wasn't expecting what sounded like a low growl to come from his mouth before he quickly said

"I wasn't looking for _you_, but I was looking for someone to tell me where the hell I am. This place is too damn big to navigate!"

Tomoyo laughed, suprised at his blatant honesty. A quick thought came to her mind, now would be the perfect time to mess with him.

"Well sir I thought all Ninjas new how to find their way around with their eyes closed. Could it be you're still a Ninja-in-training?"

The beet red color he turned mixed with the wide-eyed shock of his face sent her into hysterics. He could be a source of entertainment, if little more.

"Fine you don't want to help me I'll find my own fucking way out of here."

"Oh please stop, I'll help you get back to the house. I can be your sensei!"

Standing up Tomoyo looked over his way, gave a small smile and told him to follow her. Walking back to the mansion invoved crossing a small stream full of large rocks made for passing. Tomoyo was quite adapt at skipping over them, but the big splash that came from the person behind her followed by the string of curses let her know that being around him might be better than she thought.

"Oh my you're not hurt are you? I wouldn't want mother to be upset with me for letting you become injured!"

Kurogane had picked up on her teasing voice by now and quickly muttered a "shut up" as he was thoroughly embarassed with himself.

"Oh well that's no way to address your future step daughter, here give me your hand and I'll help you out." She extended her hand out to Kurogane in the water but she didn't see the evil look on his face as he quickly pulled her in the water with him. Sputtering and shocked, Tomoyo looked up at Kurogane who was now laughing and climbing out of the stream. "Hmm" she thought to herself "this might be more entertaining than I first imagined".

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Yay, second chapter done! I thought since I didn't do it for the first one I'll tell you a little bit about why I like Kurogane and Tomoyo together. While I know that cannonly Sakura is Tomoyo's "most important person", I want someone to feel the same way about Tomoyo. I know that she is fine with having an unrequited love for Sakura, but I just feel that Tomoyo is such a great character that I want someone to be completely in love with her. I love Tomoyo's and Kuroganes's relationship in Tsubasa, and not so much Kurogane and Fai's (don't get me wrong it's not like I don't like the yaoi thing, it's just that for some reason I just don't like those two together) so I wanted to write a piece where they are each others "special someone". Look forward to Chapter 3!


	3. Jump

Tomoyo had to admit, he was good. Which made her dislike him even more. As the new "family" was sitting down to dinner, Tomoyo was very observant with the way Kurogane treated Sonomi. He did everything the perfect gentlemen would. Whether it was holding the chair out for her or listening to every word she said or using perfect manners, he did them all as if he were a prince. Tomoyo was almost jealous of how suited he was for her mother. She couldn't believe there was actually someone who was as polite as she was. It didn't seem like only half an hour ago that he was swearing in every direction possible. But with everything she was observing, something felt... off. There was a coldness that she felt between them. Coldness? Actually maybe it was a loneliness. Tomoyo then understood what drew them together, they were both terribly lonely. Her mother hadn't had someone to love in twenty years, and who knows if he lost someone important as well. Tears began to well in her eyes as she began to realize her own sadness in her heart. She had never felt as if someone had ever truly needed her. Sure she was well likeable but she had never been anybody's "most important person". While Sakura was her best friend, she had Syaoran and Touya and wasn't necessary in her life. The overwhelming emptiness she found her life to be was terrifying. When she looked up she saw both her mother and Kurogane staring at her with surprise and confusion in their eyes. Tomoyo pressed a hand up to her face and felt the waterfall leaving her eyes. Trying to laugh it off Tomoyo tried to remedy the situation. "**Oh my, where did these come from? It must be my body trying to purge myself of the sadness I felt for judging you Kurogane. At first I couldn't believe that you were really in love with mother, but after the things I've done to you you still stuck around. Please accept my apology and I look forward to getting to know you**." Tomoyo then bowed her head hoping that the excuse would work. She abruptly stood up from the table and walked back to her room.

Lying on her bed, she looked at the clock, hating how time moved slower when one wants to fall asleep. Deciding that she needed some fresh air she wandered out to her balcony. Sitting on the wall overlooking the garden she could see the majesty that appeared before her. The leaves were tinged silver by moonlight, and the stream that a certain someone had fallen in earlier appeared to be lit by fire. Owls would occasionally come in to view, along with the nocturnal animals that lived in her garden. She heard someone sigh down below. Testing to see who she thought it was she dropped a pebble onto the persons head. She knew that it was Kurogane because the hollow thud was followed by a ** "SHIT THAT HURT!"**  
**"Kurogane this is twice in one day, I must be lucky, actually make that unlucky because now I have a stalker which is soon to be stepfather. I must apologize for whatever is making you feel as if you have to follow me."**  
**"No don't, I hate apologies, and don't think i'm following you because i'm not."  
"Then how do you explain this situation?"  
"Coincidence"  
"Ahh but you see I don't believe in such a thing. I believe that this meeting was caused by the fates."  
"You sound just like my mother, she said the exact same thing."  
"Said?"**  
At this Kurogane paused, Tomoyo immediately knew that he didn't want to talk about it. So she simply changed the topic, he could come to her if he ever wanted to talk about it.  
**"So has mother told you of our mission for tomorrow."  
**'Grunt'  
**"So I was thinking we should stop by the CLAMP atelier first because they're the best at their job."  
"As long as they're the fastest, it could be wallmart for all I care."  
"Oh yes quite fast, it should only take around three hours."  
"Eh... EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"No need to shout, as long as you're patient and listen to their instructions we can be out of there by twelve if we leave by 8:00."  
"But you said three hours!"  
"Half and hour there and back."  
**Kurogane sat there with a look of dread on his face. He looked ready to keel over, his face even became tinged with green.  
**"Kurogane... has anyone ever told you that gullible is written on the celing?"  
"Why would they... wait is that a custom in this part of Japan?"  
"I think not"  
**Tomoyo gave him a minute to let it sink in, waiting for the shouting to come.  
**"THAT'S IT!"**  
Tomoyo burst into hysterics at his eruption until she saw Kurogane climbing the trellis up to her balcony.  
**"Wait, wait wait wait, what are you doing? Wait PUT ME DOWN. Are you crazy? You can't climb back down carying me! Stop it you're going to drop me! Wait don't go over there, no wait wait i'm sorry, I didn't mean it! Ah don't put me there it's really high! What if I fall?"**  
Kurogane had placed Tomoyo in the space between the top and the roof a a gazeebo. It was tall enough for her to sit comfertably and had white slats of wood connecting the top of the structure to the roof. The moon was glowing upon her face, illuminating it until her skin shined. She looked more like a god than a girl. Both stared at each other for a minute until Tomoyo slanted her eyes and said "Well, are you going to let me down or not?"  
**"I think I'm going to wait a little bit more."  
"I'm going to call child protective services on you."  
"You're an adult."  
"More like 'I need an adult'."  
"Why don't you like me?"  
"When did I ever say that?"  
"You don't have to say it, you look it."  
"Do you really want the truth?"  
"I'm a big boy, I can handle it."  
"I hate how you're replacing father. I know you're not trying to be him, but you're taking the love my mother had for him for yourself. I want to believe that my mother truely loved him, and if she did then she wouldn't need you. Also the fact that you're twenty years younger than her makes me believe that you're just in it for the money than for her. I don't trust others easily, and I'm finding it hard to even begin to start with you."  
**Kurogane stoicly stared up at her. Tomoyo didn't look away but instead gazed solemnly back down at him.  
**"Ok, you can come down now, but do me a favor... jump."  
"I think I'll wait until morning."  
"Trust me... jump."**  
Tomoyo gave a sigh, she didn't want to wait up here any longer but she also didn't want to become a pancake. She looked down into his eyes, meeting his intense gaze and recognizing the pleading in them. She slowly closed her eyes, took a deep breath, said a small prayer, and quite simply, jumped.


	4. A HappyHolic

For the few seconds Tomoyo was in the air, she continuously reprimanded herself for believing that a stranger would be able to catch her. This was only the second day she had known him and was already entrusting her well-being with someone who looks as if he were part of the yakuza. She put in a mental note that when jumping off high structures to make sure that there was something more like a trampoline below instead of a grouchy man. A cough interupted her _"I'm going to die"_ thoughts when she realized that she had already been cought by Kurogane and was sitting quite safely in his arms.

**"Oh... yes... hm well I suppose I will get down now"  
**  
Kurogane gently set her down, Tomoyo still shooken up. An awkward silence passed, until Tomoyo broke it giving him a thank you and felt unconfortable so she decided to start talking.

**"You know, I've never walked around my own property at night? I think it's about time, considering that I don't think I'll be able to fall asleep, my heart is still beating too fast. Care to join me?"**  
**"...are you talking to me?"  
"Yes I don't think there are any other Kuroganes out here"  
"...you didn't hit your head on the way down did you?"  
"No, no I'm quite allright, infact everything feels amazing. That jump really did some good for me, I understand what Sakura says now. Everything will be allright."**

Kurogane was suspicious of the_ "new and improved"_ Tomoyo that he decided to stay and make sure that she wasn't suffering from a case of _"post-jumping impulsiveness"._

**"Well Mary Poppins where would you like to go?"  
"Let's hit the town! We can use the Limo, actually scratch that, we'll walk!"  
"Aye, Aye captain..."** (Kurogane made a mental note to never say that again).

The two walked out into the neighborhood, making their way to the outskirts of town. A sudden moan caught there attention.

**"Yuko-sannn do we have to?"  
"Hohoho of COURSE we do, it is our destiny to fufill the dragon slayers wish!""  
"Then why isn't it HE doing the slaying?"  
"Watanuki show some courage, what would Himawari-chan say?"  
"She would say 'Run away, very quickly'."  
"Mokona will give Watanuki a _"you can do it"_ hug!"  
"Your hug is being declined, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars"  
"Watanuki, while you were being deliberatly mean to the very cute Mokona you failed to notice the two very awestruck people right behind us"**

The impossible crew turned around to see a bewildered Kurogane and Tomoyo who had just witnessed a strange occurence that just happened to be normalcy for them. Yuko began to emit her Sage aura and then proceeded to give the normal _"this meeting was a fated occurence"_ speech to the poor unsuspecting humans. When Watanuki walked up to try and save them he gave an astonished look and said to Kurogane **"Haven't we met before?"  
**However Yuko laughed and said** "No you haven't HIM, but you have met Kurogane... funny how hitzuzen has a way of working these things out."  
"Yuko-san, I wish for the day when everything you say is un-equivocal."  
"That's a price that's too big for you too pay my boy!"  
"Uh, excuse me there Miss, but would you happen to tell me who you two are and why you have a magical creature with you?"  
"I am Yuko, the Witch of Dimensions and this is my servant boy Watanuki. And what you called a magical creature is the all mighty and all powerful Mokona! And no need to introduce yourselves because I already know who you are, and why you have come here. You both have a wish, and I am here to grant it!"**


End file.
